i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
