3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
