Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He better not be in your backpack
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
