Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
