Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
