Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
