Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
