They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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