There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
