i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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