In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
