So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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