I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
