You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
