I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
