My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize