p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He told me they were just razor bumps!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
