Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
