I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize
