my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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