Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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