is your mom at the bar?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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