every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
This is the high leading the old right now
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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