i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
