Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Randomize
