i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
It was confusing and full of hummus
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
