i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
