well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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