So drunk its hurt
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
wow bdsm is so cute
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