For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Everclear isn't food dammit
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
