you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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