Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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