my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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