i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You're like the curious george of whores
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
