its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
