How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
