they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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