96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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