Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
soo... how was my night?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
