franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
