She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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