but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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