You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
