:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
