Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
