She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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