Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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