everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
