Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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