don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
