sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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