I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
