Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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