how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
The air taste purple.
Randomize
