alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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